Pre-deployment stage

• Preparation time: Varies—usually very little advance warning given the nature of natural disasters.
• Needs that arise:
  • Training up—resulting in longer work hours
  • Getting your affairs in order
• Considerations:
  • Anticipating the loss vs. denying the upcoming deployment
  • Mixing arguments with being close
• What to do:
  • Plan and organize—use the tip sheet for getting prepared.
  • Communicate in a business-like fashion.
  • Strategize, don’t catastrophize.
  • Talk about the emotional side. Include and inform the children.
  • Beef up support from friends and extended family. 

Deployment stage

• Length: Varies—completion date may be a moving target.
• Needs that arise:
  • Staying in touch with home/the deployed employee
  • Problem-solving and brainstorming when new issues arise
• Considerations:
  • Initial period of disorientation and feeling overwhelmed:
    • Don’t be surprised by feelings of numbness, jealousy, frustration, anger, hurt, sleep disturbance
    • Loss of trust and rumors
  • Sustaining and adapting:
  • Establishing new routines and sources of support. Lessening of initial negative reactions
     
• What to do:
  • Keep communicating—using alternative means: cell phone, email, etc.
  • Recognize the “uni-directional” nature of calls—feeling “trapped” at home not wanting to miss a call
  • Stay confident (“I can do this”)
  • Pace yourself—the length of the deployment might change
  • “Hot topics” for the family or the marriage—consider putting them on hold until the deployment ends
  • Avoid overspending/alcohol
  • Avoid over-investing in a set date of return

Post-deployment stage

• Length of readjustment: Several days to several weeks
• Needs that arise:
  • Logistics of adjusting to being back together—who does what?
  • Having enough time being back together as a couple and family
  • Recouping physically and mentally—getting rest   
• Considerations:
  • “Honeymoon” period—a big up period followed by a return to normality
  • Independence of the spouse who remained at home vs. deployed spouse reasserting their role in the family
  • Need for “own space”
  • Renegotiating routines, chores and responsibilities
• What to do:
  • Keep communicating and keep the faith.
  • Go slow. Adjustment does not occur overnight.
  • Enlist the help of others including counseling.
  • Allow the old roles to be reestablished but also adjusted and adapted.